She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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