Im at strip club and am horny
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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