Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
