i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
