Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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