i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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