He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
