If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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