Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
