he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
