I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
