thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
