end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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