Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
She announced her abortion via fbk
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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