what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
