me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
