I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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