she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
There's always time for handjobs
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
