I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
