I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
