his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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