I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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