I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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