I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize