I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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