what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
