How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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