I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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