Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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