I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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