I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
