...so i touched it.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
