Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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