Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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