she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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