i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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