So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
