it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
