What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
