You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
ugly people sure do ruin things
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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