He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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