he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
