I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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