6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
