Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
