I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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