are you still at the devil's house?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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