i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
