I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
So apparently I’m into choking now
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
