i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
