we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
