hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
