Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
