It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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