Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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