i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
