420 ftw
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
