lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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