I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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