I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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