Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Panties = found
Randomize