sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
